Thursday, January 9, 2014

Fluff: All Conspiracy Theories Are Blatantly False Because:

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5) There has never been a recorded example of a government, religious or corporate official presenting a testimony that has been altered from the truth to their own benefit, nor is there any reason to suspect that this has ever happened.

4) There has never been a recorded example of a journalist or media organization altering their reporting or a story to align with the requests of an authority figure or corporation, nor is there any reason to suspect that this has ever happened.

3) There has never been a recorded example of a government organization, church, corporation, or other large-scale organization preventing access of incriminating evidence or information, nor is there any reason to suspect that this has ever happened.

2) There has never been a recorded example of malfeasance or failure to act in good faith on behalf of a government organization, church, corporation, or other authority figure, nor is there any reason to suspect that this has ever happened.

And, the number one reason that all conspiracy theories are blatantly false is:

*drumroll*

1)  There has never been a recorded example of people in authority making surreptitious arrangements with one another to their mutual benefit despite detriment to others, nor is there any reason to suspect that this has ever happened.

So if you suspect that any of the above has ever happened, it's time to break out your tinfoil hats and join the legions of fools who believe that it's possible or even likely that an authority figure or person in power might at some point do something to your detriment and represent their actions dishonestly, working with others to make it seem as though they have not.  Congratulations, idiot, you're now a conspiracy theorist.


2 comments:

  1. you mean the Bavarian Illuminati are not out to make us all into cabbages? ;D

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    Replies
    1. Ugh, blogger can be so inefficient at times; I've had to reply twice already to have my comments eaten by the ether.

      This piece was sarcastic. Denying that people in power make private deals to their betterment and the loss of others is folly. Using simplistic language to turn people's brains off about the possibility that their beloved authority figures might be untrustworthy is irresponsible. You can't even suggest that an authority figure, a politician, a political body, or a corporation is screwing anyone over anymore without people saying, "DERP DERP DERP TIME TO GET OUT THE TINFOIL HATS".

      I start with a position of mistrust when it comes to authority figures, and that mistrust multiplies the more they try to convince why I should trust them. If they are trying to sell me something it's because they want me to buy it, not because it's for my own good. I apply this to both politicians and people who talk smack about them and try and form my own opinions based off of what I read, because damnitall that's all you can honestly do.

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